Christmas.... Ba- humbug!

This year Christmas has really sneaked up on me... I was sick for a while and even when finally well I just could not get into the "holiday spirit". But now it is upon me...and for the last couple of days I have been frantically trying to get something for everyone on my list. But today... as I am almost done I had to stop and think. This year I have had a rather "scrooge-ish" attitude about the whole holiday; always asking myself "just what was so merry about Christmas anyway". Well y'all...in the middle of my pity party the Lord gave me a present and I thought I would share in case there was someone else out there that was feeling the same way. I know that as Christians we say it every year... the whole "its not about the parties and the presents but its about the Lord". But how often do we remember that when we are mid-shopping? I know I rarely do- and that is to my shame.

Anyways back to my main point- I was reminded today just what it is that we are celebrating on December 25th. The fact that God came down to Earth as a humble baby and was born in the most poor conditions to people - that if "good Godly people" would have been asked about them- they would have said were (to use a modern phrase) "sketchy".
Miracle after miracle followed that day; from outcast shepherds being the first witnesses of a king's birth to the miraculous star and wise men a few years later and the exodus to Egypt to save the toddler king. Prophecy after prophecy came true as the Lord grew: fulfilling hundreds of years of promises of a Savior of the people. Only an all knowing God could orchestrate such an intricate story.
I will leave you with one last thought- one of my favorite Christmas songs- "Mary Did You Know"

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water? 
Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you. 
Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man? 
Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God. 
The blind will see, the deaf will hear and the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb.  
Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation? 
Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb? 
This sleeping child you're holding is the great I am.

Merry Christmas!

E'en So Lord Jesus, Quickly Come

In Ensemble (the choir here at Emmaus) we have been practicing a very nice song- I have enjoyed the lyrics as they are very uplifting!

E'en So Lord Jesus, Quickly Come Paul Manz, text adapted by Ruth Manz

Peace be to you and grace from Him
Who freed us from our sins,
Who loved us all and shed His blood
That we might saved be.

Sing holy, holy to our Lord,
The Lord, Almighty God,
Who was and is and is to come;
Sing holy, holy, Lord!

Rejoice in heaven, all ye that dwell therein,
Rejoice on earth, ye saints below,
For Christ is coming, is coming soon,
For Christ is coming soon!

E'en so, Lord Jesus, quickly come,
And night shall be no more;
They need no light nor lamp nor sun,
For Christ will be their All!

Life- who is in control?

Here lately I have been woken up to the fact that human beings- no matter how hard we try- are not in control of life and death. With all of modern medicine we can not sometimes prevent death and can never create life. Last week one of my friends had a serious miscarriage- loosing her baby and almost loosing her own life.

I was thinking about the loss of life and the mourning parents left behind and I admit that I was trying to figure out why God would let this baby die. What had he or she done to deserve death? During all of this I was trying to plan my Sunday school lesson for the next day. I had decided on the story of Jesus raising Lazarus because I had a good craft and story telling method already.

I don't know how much my class learned but I sure got a good reminder of Who was in charge of life...

If you remember Lazarus's sisters also had questions such as mine. They both tearfully told Jesus when He finally showed up 4 days after their brother had been buried -"Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." (John 11:32) Also some of the mourners said "Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?" (John 11:37) How often have we also thought this when someone we loved dies? I know I have- just about every time too... But bringing me back to my main point- these people knew who was in charge of life and death. God is. And God has a plan- just as in this story- He was in the end glorified.

Am I willing to accept that God is glorified in His plans? Are you? It seems so hard to fathom that a loving God would be glorified in a un-born baby's death... But I have since learned that after an autopsy was preformed on the baby, they learned that the baby had a genetic disorder- one that normally causes severe deformities, learning disorders, and early death- if the baby lives at all. Perhaps God is glorified in saving this child from a life of ridicule and pain... Perhaps God could be glorified in the parents waking up to the fact that there is a loving God that wants to carry their burdens and pain if only they would allow Him in... I may never know how God is glorified in this but I do know that He IS glorified...

Firework Frame of Mind?

Hello y'all! I just got back from watching 4th of July fireworks and I got to thinking.... Fireworks are really pretty right? Well for a few seconds anyway- if you blink you miss them. I realized this as I was trying to do some night photography and most of the time my shutter speed was just too slow to catch the splendor of the fireworks. I got to wondering though- just how often is my life like that? I mean- y'all have all been there before I'm sure- the summer camp high when you come back from a week of camp or something and you are So excited and pumped to live for Christ. But then- in a blink of an eye- in a week or so that excitement fades when life "gets in the way" of your walk with the Lord and you forget all of your well intended resolutions. I am so thankful that God isn't like that. He is always the same awesome, never changing God. I think of Him like a light bulb- steady and unwavering. Something that draws us naturally towards Himself. Except unlike a moth and a light bulb- drawing near to God only helps us become better human beings. So then why does my life seem to look like a firework show? Yes- it is beautiful sometimes- though very rarely I fear. But it is a lot like the 4th of July- one day out of a year it shines beautifully- and the rest.....well I hate to admit what the rest looks like. I want to be a light bulb- perhaps not as spectacular- but useful and always burning bright for my God.

Music...the calmer of my soul

It never ceases to amaze me how that I can think I have the corner of the market on a problem or situation and I stumble across (or more likely the Lord makes me trip on) a song that spells out how I feel completely! Anyway...the Lord has struck again.... Here is Barlow Girls' "Never Alone"

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no.
I needed you today
So where did you go?
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?

Chorus
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep reassurance
You've placed in my life.
We cannot separate
'Cause you're part of me.
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen.

Chorus

More pics.... :D

Jeremy and I



My mom and I


Jeremy (my bro.)

New Portraits

Glory- almost 4



My folks.....




Levi- 20 months

Early morning/midnight sleeplessness...

I have been thinking a lot lately about just why I want to teach.... I have a paper due in August on this topic for part of my application into the Elementary Education program at Emmaus. Anyway as I was playing with Glory earlier today I started thinking about it some more. We were playing playdough and I casually threw in a lesson on fractions teaching her 1/2's and 1/4's. She loved it and had no idea that we were doing math... This is why I want to teach- children are like little dry sponges, soaking up every little bit of knowledge that you send their way.

But saying that- why do most children hate school by time they are in upper elementary school? I remember when school became a drudgery for me- and I hadn't been in it that long... So is the problem our teachers? Or our children? Or our parents? Why are some of our children graduating from High school and not able to hold down a steady job or even read or do simple math? And does the National Government have too much control of what goes on in the classroom? Why can't learning be fun anymore? What happens to the child to make them hate going to school- when they loved learning as pre-schoolers? Is there a magic answer to all of these questions? I know people have been striving towards the best means of educating their children ever since education began but why have we gone downhill instead of bettering ourselves? I don't know...

Well y'all now know what fills my head at 3am and causes me not to be able to sleep.... so now that its all here on my screen it will have left my brain and perhaps I will be able to sleep....?

"No Daddy- Me do it!"

Have you ever watched a preschool age child for any length of time? If you have you will notice a common phrase- "me do it" or something to that connotation. As an adult I often physically supervise and help when needed to make sure that said young child doesn't get hurt or too frustrated. In the same way my Saviour Jesus helps me. Matthew 11:28-30 states, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Have you ever seen a yoke? A yoke is, "a device for joining together a pair of draft animals, esp. oxen, usually consisting of a crosspiece with two bow-shaped pieces, each enclosing the head of an animal." Jesus is saying here that He is willing and very able to join together with me, as a Christian, in a team effort for a common goal. Think also of II Corinthians 6:1a ," We then, as workers together with Him..."

Thus stated, am I acting like a three year old? Am I telling Jesus, "no, me do it!"? Am I sharing my burden? See, even as I type this I realize that I haven't let go completely- I still see it as My burden... Father, please unclench my fingers and make me let go...

Indescribable- Chris Tomlin

Here is a song that I have really enjoyed lately....the lyrics are amazing! Enjoy!

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea

Creation's revealing Your majesty

From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring

Every creature unique in the song that it sings

All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.

You are amazing God

All powerful, untameable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go

Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow

Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light

Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night

None can fathom

(Chorus)

You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same

You are amazing God

You are amazing God

Am I walking worthy?

"That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto His kingdom and glory."

I Thess. 2: 12

Have you ever had one of your good friends start dating someone and think to yourself, "What IS she thinking??!! She deserves such a better guy than That!!" My dear friends, what do people think when they see your life in response to Christ? Since the Church is the Bride of Christ we are very much connected to Him. I know we as sinful mankind can never truly deserve Christ's love but are we a cheating girlfriend? Who or what are we putting in front of our Lord? When non-believers see our lives are they intrigued or disappointed that we can't live what we preach? Lord- give me the endurance to keep my walk pure and worthy of You in this sinful world!

SPRING!!!

Hello All! Sorry its been so long- I don't know where the last month went! :P Well Spring is here in Iowa! You wouldn't know it by the temperature.... but that's what they keep telling me! I only have one more month here at Emmaus before this summer! I'm kinda sad... I will really miss those that won't be coming back next fall! Well to catch y'all up on my life... the main event since I have posted was the Dubuque Chorale that I sing in had its performance. It was so much fun! We sang accompanied by the Dubuque Symphony- performing Beethoven's Ninth, a couple of Handel pieces, and a Haydn piece! SOOOO much fun!!! Well I haven't had time to take photos of spring yet... but when I get a chance I will! I will try to do a better job of blogging this month!!

Praise the Lord!

Hooray!!! Glory is out of the hospital now and back at home as of the evening of Sunday, Feb. 24th. Thank the Lord for all of His healing!! I have had a glorious weekend! I went to Menno Haven (a weekend long retreat) and there found encouraging Bible talks and my PARENTS! They had surprised me back showing up without telling me they would be there. It was so nice to be able to see them again.

As I prepare to go on tour with Ensemble I have been battling feelings of inadequacy and fear. The Lord showed me a beautiful verse today as I was doing my Old Testament reading in Isaiah. Have you ever watched someone who is really afraid? Their hands start to shake as do their knees. If you would ask that person what is wrong- more than likely they would tell you that they are afraid or fearful. Isaiah 35:3-4 states, "Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who are of a fearful heart, "Be strong, fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you." The enemy I have been fighting is fear- God will take care of my fear if I give it over to Him. This verse reminds me of the trust that a little girl has in her dad- a trust so strong that when she is in danger she knows that he will do all he can to help her- to save her. I think of the story I once heard about a child jumping out of a second story window to the arms of her dad when their home was on fire. Or even just the simple trust shown when most dad's play with their children in a pool. You know when the child jumps off the edge into the water knowing that her dad will catch her. Am I willing to jump? We hear about "taking the leap of faith" and I think that is what this is talking about. It is what happens after we obediently leap into our heavenly Father's waiting arms....

Lunar Eclipse

Did y'all see the lunar eclipse tonight!? It was soooo pretty! The sky was perfect too- for once it was crystal clear. Isn't our God awsome?! Such wonderful things He has created....

Worrisome times...

Hello all! Well I am still alive- I know its been awhile since I have posted anything. Much has been happening! School has been very busy and Ensemble is preparing for tour during spring break. The big news right now is my niece Glory is in the hospital... She had the flu and it turned into a collapsed lung and pneumonia. She is doing better but they expect her to stay in the hospital for at least a week. Ensemble's tour schedule is as follows...

Friday, Feb. 29th - Grand Haven Gospel Chapel in Grand Haven, MI (Concert at 7 pm)
Saturday, March 1- Jefferson Hills Bible Church in Pittsburgh, PA (Concert at 7:30 pm)
Sunday, March 2-Forge Road Bible Chapel in Perry Hall (Baltimore), MD (Concert at 7pm)
Monday, March 3- Free Day!!! We will be touring the Baltimore Maritime Museum and Inner Harbor
Tuesday, March 4- Grace Gospel Chapel in Plumsteadville, PA (Concert at 7:30 pm)
Wednesday, March 5- Side trip to Valley Forge National Park and then performing at Greenwood Hills Gospel Chapel in Fayetteville, PA (concert at 7pm)
Thursday, March 6- Free Day!! Trip to Gettysburg
Friday, March 7- Warrenville Bible Chapel in Warrenville, IL (concert at 7pm)

Through a Glass Clearly

This one makes you think.......

Blessings All Mine with 10,000 Besides by Frederick L. Kosin

According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death. Phillipians 1:20

"For thoses with failing eyesight, a magnifying glass is a constant companion. What a blessing to put one in front of the list of Joneses in the telephone book and actually be able to pick out the right one! A magnifying glass makes what is invisible (or unreadable) to the naked eye visible. Christ, who is invisible to the world's eye, is waiting for us to "put ourselves in front of" Him so others can "read" Him. Christ is in us, and our body and life is the glass that God uses to make Him known to the world around us. My behavior stands between Christ and the world's eyes. Just as we pick up a magnifying glass to look at something closely, so the world "picks us up," places us in front of Christ, and reads Him in terms of our lives. As a believer with Christ resident in my body, I am always giving the world a view of Christ. It may not be what He wants or is pleased with, but it takes place nevertheless. Somethimes a magnifying glass neeeds to be cleaned so it can be more effective. Since Christ is in us and visible to the world, all we are and all we do should reveal or magnify Him. If we keep our behavior clean and put our lives in front of Him, the world will see Christ clearly. If our lives are dirty through unconfessed sin, our glass is dirty and the view the world has of Christ will be clouded. Many of us give a distorted view of Christ becaouse of the condition of the glass (our lives). For this reason, many are turned away from Christ as a result of what they see through us. We are, therefore, to be tools suitable and ready for the Master's use. The blessing is that Christ lives in us and has chosen us to be the "magnifying glasses" the world uses to get to know Him. "Christ will be magnified" says Paul. We do not need to pray for Him to use us! He is waiting for us to be used What a responsibliity! What an opportunity! This is the kind of responsibblitiy and opportunity no angel ever had."

Markian Sandwiches

I learned something in New Testament Survey this morning- I know
that's why I am taking the course but this one was worth sharing! We are
studying the gospel of Mark and learning about the different literary techniques
that John Mark used to point toward his main point of the gospel- that Jesus is
the Son of God. A Markian sandwich is one of these techniques. It is
when Mark "sandwiches" a group of stories close together to make the stories
more than just stories but so that more life application or doctrinal truths can
be pulled from them. All throughout the gospel of Mark these sandwiches can be
found- for though as the Word of God all of these stories happened John Mark was
not bothered to put them in chronological order like some of the other New
Testament writers were. He uses the stories similarities or differences to
highlight a truth. For example take Mark chapter 5. Verses 22-43 tell the story
of the woman healed from her hemorrhaging problem and of the 12 year old girl
that was raised from the dead. I have color coded the similarities of the
stories that Mark included to prove his point.


22And, behold, there cometh one of the rulers of
the synagogue, Jairus by name; and when he saw him, he fell at his
feet, 23And besought him greatly, saying, My little daughter lieth at
the point of death: I pray thee, come and lay thy hands on her, that she may be
healed; and she shall live. 24And Jesus went with him; and much
people followed him, and thronged him. 25And a certain woman, which
had an issue of blood twelve years, 26And had suffered many things of
many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but
rather grew worse, 27When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press
behind, and touched his garment. 28For she said, If I may touch but
his clothes, I shall be whole. 29And straightway the fountain of her
blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that
plague. 30And Jesus, immediately knowing in
himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and
said, Who touched my clothes? 31And his disciples said unto him, Thou seest the multitude thronging thee, and sayest thou, Who touched
me? (in this similarity Jesus says something that to others seems
ridiculous) 32And he looked round about to see her that had done this
thing. 33But the woman fearing and trembling, knowing what was done in her,
came and fell down before him, and told him all the truth. 34And he said
unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of
thy plague. 35While he yet spake, there came from the ruler of the synagogue's house certain which said, Thy daughter is dead: why troublest thou the
Master any further? 36As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he
saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe. 37And he suffered no man to follow him, save Peter, and James, and John the brother of James. 38And he cometh to the house of the ruler of the synagogue, and seeth the tumult,
and them that wept and wailed greatly. 39And when he was come in, he saith unto them, Why make ye this ado, and weep? the damsel is not dead, but sleepeth. 40And they laughed him to scorn. But when he had put them all out, he taketh the father and the mother of the damsel, and them that were with him, and entereth in where the damsel was lying. 41And he took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise. 42And straightway the damsel arose, and walked; for she was of the age of twelve years. And they were astonished with a great astonishment. 43And he charged them straitly that no man should know it; and commanded that something should be given her to eat.(KJV scripture courtesy of www.biblegateway.com)


Now for the similarities that are
not written down in the text- both the woman and the girl had no where else
to turn- Jesus was their, like our, only hope. Also both Jairus and the woman had
to endanger themselves by reaching out to Jesus. Jairus was an important
ruler in the synagogue and by acknowledging that Jesus had
the power to heal his daughter he would be in very high danger of
being expelled from his own synagogue. The woman on the other
hand was unclean (Lev. 15:25) and everything she got
near pretty much was unclean for a day as well. By touching Jesus she went
against the law.

The differences are there too though: Probably the most important one is that while Jairus was very well off financially, the woman had spent all of her money during the last 12 years on doctors. I think that one of the main points that John Mark was
pointing out in Chapter 5 is that Jesus is for everyone, both rich and poor. Socially accepted and shunned for being unclean. Whatever your status is; poor or rich your only hope is Jesus.The differences are there too though: Probably the most important one is that while Jairus was very well off financially, the woman had spent all of her money during the last 12 years on doctors. I think that one of the main points that John Mark was pointing out in Chapter 5 is that Jesus is for
everyone, both rich and poor. Socially accepted and shunned for
being unclean. Whatever your status is; poor or rich your only hope is
Jesus.

Lord, make me a sponge!

Just some quick thoughts the Lord blessed me with today in chapel when I should have been paying attention to the speaker...
It is my new goal to become a sponge- a common kitchen sponge. Sponges are absorbent- I want to soak in all the knowledge that God is sending my way. Sponges are known for being "holy"- I want to be know for Holiness. Sponges are mailable to fit in almost any shape. I want to be mailable to God's will and direction for my life. I don't want to be a moldy sponge though as it hasn't been used for a while. I want to be daily refreshed and wrung out and purged by God. Finally sponges are very multipurpose. They are used for cleaning and small children's craft/art projects and a multiple of uses. I want God to take me out of my rut and stretch me into whatever role He has for me. The list goes on and on- more to come when I have more time!

Dying to Live

Here is some interesting reading- I'm not sure I completely agree with him but some of his points are very interesting.

Thoughts on Galatians 2:20

When Christ went back to heaven to sit at the right hand of God, He continued to limit Himself to human flesh as His personal revelation on earth. Although He is resident in glory now, He has chosen to live His life through the bodies and personalities of Gods' children. In the same way that, during His lifetime, Christ made the invisible Father visible, so now the absent Christ is made present and visible through the lives of believers. The key words for our meditation today are "Christ lives in me." It is easy to forget that Christ is a person who is real, living, feeling, thinking, acting, and working.

Many Scriptures remind us that when we believe in Jesus Christ for salvation, He comes to dwell in our lives. John 1:12 reads, "But as many as received Him (Christ), to them He gave the right to become children of God." Since Christ is in us, He is in us to "do His good will." He is resident in our lives to be a real, living, feeling, thinking, acting, working person. It is not possible to have only a part of Christ or to have only a portion of His mind, emotions or will. I have all of Christ Yet the question remains: Does Christ have all of me?

Crucifixion is a dramatic way of saying I must die to all my own efforts to save myself as well as to display a living Christ. He is waiting for me to admit that I cannot live His life in my own strength. He cannot and will not project His life through our lives without our surrendering all we are to Him for His use. This is why Paul says, "it is no longer I who live...""

The choice is ours. We can try to live the life of Christ in our own effort or we can die to our own energies and allow Christ to use our minds, emotions, and desires as means of making His resurrected life known through our human flesh.

excerpted from Blessings All Mine with 10,000 Besides! by Frederick L. Kosin

I surrender!

Alright, well I kept up the fight as long as possible but I have, as you now know, given up and created myself a blog..... Actually it is just one more way to procrastinate from the always looming studies! I shall try to keep it updated but as the semester grows busy this will probably be the first thing to go!